


i'm hooked on all these feelings

by veronicabunch



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Developing Friendships, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, New Year's Eve, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 14:03:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13101717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veronicabunch/pseuds/veronicabunch
Summary: Kent attempts to repair his friendship with Jack, and in the process, gains a new family.





	i'm hooked on all these feelings

**Author's Note:**

> I have a lot of feels for Kent Parson, and unravelling him to make him more of a person. So have some softer!Kent feels, please.

****

(view end notes for image description)

* * *

 

Kent’s foot bounces with years of bundled nerves as he drinks his third French vanilla latte. He opens the message again, scrolling up. Okay, Jack  _had_  said Kat’s Beans on 4th and Wellington, and the last time he checked, that’s where he is. Per Jack’s request, he opted to wear a baseball hat (something he’d never been a fan of), a pair of nondescript sunglasses, and a dirty plaid shirt.

No one would expect him to be a famous NHL player, no sirree. Kent adjusts the baseball cap one more time, hating that his hair has totally gone flat. If Jack doesn’t show up by 4:15pm, then Kent will leave.

This was a long shot anyway. It’d been the first weekend he’d had off from all games  _and_  press, so the first thing he’d done had gone against all sound advice: he’d asked Jack Zimmermann to meet him for coffee. Kent can hear Alexei’s growl of disapproval, but Kent had to do this.

If Jack doesn’t show, well, then that’s something that Kent will have to deal with. For now, the clock on the wall keeps ticking well past three o’clock, meaning that Jack is over an hour late. Kent wants to give him the benefit of the doubt, but Alexei would smack the back of his head for voicing that opinion.

Alexei had been traded onto the Aces only two years after Jack had joined the Falconers. Kent had thought that maybe Alexei would bring the hostility that he’d shown towards Kent when they’d been on opposing teams, but the truth is that Alexei had clung to Kent’s side. He’d whined and bitched, sure, but he had had Kent’s back the second they met up in the shared locker room during their first practice.

He hates that he’s letting him down now, but he has to know.

“I didn’t think you’d still be here,” Jack’s familiar and warm voice comes suddenly. It’s enough to snap Kent out of his thoughts and react by jumping up. He wants to hug Jack, because it’s  _so_  nice to see him, but he knows that would be crossing a line. Awkwardly, he motions for Jack to sit, and he falls back down into the booth.

“Figured I had nothing better to do,” Kent says, with a shrug. “I didn’t think you’d come.”

Jack keeps his face hidden when the waitress walks over. After a few awkward moments, they both order a hot drink, and she disappears. Jack lifts his head to look at Kent. “I wasn’t going to. But Bitty–Eric, I mean–he told me I should come hear you out.”

“He did?” Kent asks, perking up now. Eric Bittle had been dating Jack for the past year and a half, according to Twitter. When Jack had come out, Kent had been so proud. He hadn’t been able to tell him; it would’ve been inappropriate and weird given everything that has gone down between them.

The last time Kent’s path had accidentally crossed with Eric’s had been after a game. Eric had been holding flowers, and Kent hadn’t been paying attention to where he was walking. He’d just wanted to get away from the crowds, but instead, had bumped straight into Eric and knocked the flowers onto the ground. Then, in a terrible moment of confusion, Kent had stepped on the flowers.

He’d spent almost twenty seconds apologizing before the cameras had turned on them. Suddenly, there were headlines that Kent had jealousy issues and had threatened Eric. He hadn’t been able to explain himself, and the Aces’ P.R. manager told him to say nothing.

Jack nods. “He also made me pack you a pie. It’s in my car.”

Kent blinks, because he really hadn’t been expecting that. “Why…why would he bake me a pie?”

“As it turns out, once Bitty understood what happened between us, and how…how it wasn’t really anyone’s fault, he started to feel sorry for you.”

“Oh great, your boyfriend pities me. Just what I wanted,” Kent mutters. He leans back in his seat, and barely musters a smile of thanks when the waitress brings over their drinks. Kent shakes his head. “I don’t need anyone’s pity, Zimms.”

“Look, Bitty had a big heart. Be grateful he didn’t give you his Southern anger instead.” Jack frowns. “I didn’t come here to talk about Bitty, though. You wanted to meet up. Why?”

Kent freezes. He can’t tell Jack that he hasn’t been able to stop thinking of him since everything went to shit. He can’t say that he wishes he was half as brave as Jack was when he came out, and that he’d feel safe telling any of his teammates that he’s pansexual. They’ve only seen him with women; they’ve made homophobic jokes in the past. He could tell Jack about the fact that Alexei is the only one who seems to understand him, but he’s afraid that Jack will tell him that Alexei is naive. That he’ll see through Kent soon enough.

“Just wanted to tell you that I’m happy for you. Things seem to be going well for you, and I’m… I’m proud of you, Zimms.”

Jack doesn’t say anything for a moment. “That’s all?”

“What else can I say?” Kent asks, ensuring his tone is light. He doesn’t want Jack to know how scared he is.

“Bitty told me you probably needed a friend.”

“Why? Why would your boyfriend think that?” Kent asks, sounding more defensive than he feels.

“He–he’s perceptive. He notices things that I wouldn’t. Except for my feelings for him, I guess.” Jack lets out a breathy huff, smiling. For a moment, Jack’s somewhere else, wrapped in his thoughts of his tiny boyfriend. Then his shoulders sag a little. “Parse, it’s been a while. But I’m not angry at you anymore. You got drafted, and I didn’t. It was my fault, and you had no choice. You had to be part of the Aces; you had to leave. It took me a while to see that.”

He didn’t know that he needed to hear that.

“If the situation was reversed…”

“You would’ve stayed with me,” Kent interrupts. “That’s who you are, Jack Zimmermann. You would’ve stayed with me until I was out of rehab. You would’ve passed on the biggest career opportunity.”

“And I probably would’ve resented you for it,” Jack says, giving him the smallest smile. “I’m glad you didn’t do that to us, Parse. You put yourself first, and that’s what I needed to do too.”

“It was never supposed to be one or the other. We were supposed to be drafted together,” Kent mutters. He hadn’t wanted to talk about this stuff, but now that they are, he can’t help saying the things that have been weighing heavily on his chest. “I hated that you weren’t with me.”

“It worked out,” Jack promises. “Everything happened exactly how it should have. Now, what part of the tabloids are true?”

Kent winces. “Almost none of it. Except that my teammates aren’t my family. Not like you and the Falconers. Or the Samwell Haus.”

“So you’re not dating that red-head singer?” Jack asks, sounding a little amused.

“No, god no. I don’t even know where that came from. We’ve definitely never met before.” Kent shakes his head. “It’s all one big mess, and I don’t know what to do. When you and I were together, it felt like we could handle anything. Now, I’m flopping around, helpless. I should have never shown up to that party and tried to get you to join the Aces. It only drove us further apart, when all I wanted was to have you in my life again.”

Jack studies him, and Kent can’t blame him. He’s probably trying to figure out if Kent’s pulling a ‘fast one’ on him or something. Kent doesn’t think the sunglasses hide anything from Jack; he’s almost more vulnerable with them. “We can be friends, Parse. I can’t speak for the Falconers, but the Samwell boys will accept you as a friend.”

“How could you possibly know that?” Kent asks.

“Because, that’s who they are. If I say you’re okay, they’ll be cool.” Jack shrugs. “It’s just who they are. They won’t care that you’re pan, either. If that’s what you’re worried about. They won’t tell a soul either. It’s not who they are.”

“I–I’d like that, I think. Could I bring Alexei with me?”

“Tater? Yeah, of course. Are you two…?”

“No, no! Just friends.” Kent smiles at the thought. “Who knew the big lug would be such a softie?”

“Literally anyone who has ever met him,” Jack remarks. It brings a bigger smile to Kent’s face. Jack lifts his eyebrows. “I know that look, Parson. You have a crush on good ol’ Tater.”

“I have no such thing. Now, tell me. How are Alicia and Bob?”

Jack snorts. “You’re so smooth, Kent. So smooth. I’ll let it slide, just this once. And only because my parents would be happy to hear from you.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Well?”

It’s the first thing Alexei says to Kent when he arrives back at the hotel room, late that night. The one-hour limit with Jack had quickly turned into an entire evening. Kent hadn’t forgot to text Alexei though, and had explained that he’d be late coming back. He hadn’t really expected for Alexei to stay up for him.

Kent shuts the hotel room door before kicking off his shoes. “It was chill. Eric sent Jack over with a pie. Want some?”

“Bitty’s pie? Give here,” Alexei says, holding out his hands. Kent laughs, crossing the room to Alexei’s bed. He hands him the pie before sitting down on the edge of his bed.

Kent holds out a plastic fork. “I grabbed some stuff from the hotel kitchen staff.”

Alexei grins as he digs into Bitty’s pie. He carefully cuts a piece with the fork, and then pulls it out to hand to Kent.

“Thanks, man. I’m surprised you’re still awake. Usually you crash by nine.”

“You were out,” Alexei says, as if that’s an answer to everything. Kent shrugs, because sometimes he doesn’t really understand where he and Alexei stand. The guy had gone from being his Number One Enemy to being his only friend.

And maybe, his crush.

Kent would rather forfeit a game than admit that to anyone, especially Jack.

“I’m wiped. I’m going to get ready for bed,” Kent tells him before standing up. He sets the unfinished piece of (very delicious) pie on the nightstand, then heads into the bathroom. After brushing his teeth and washing his face, Kent steps back into the room.

Alexei has cleaned up the pie, carefully packing it into the mini-fridge, and stripped off his shirt. He’s standing over his bed, pulling back the duvet and sheet, so Kent takes the opportunity to admire his back muscles.

“Mm.” The sound escapes Kent’s lips before he can stop them. He rubs the back of his neck, ducking his head when Alexei turns to look at him.

“Ha, like what you see, Rat?”

Even after becoming friends, Alexei hadn’t let his nickname go. Now, it’s said more with fondness than hatred. Kent shrugs. “What’s not to like, Tater?”

Alexei grins. “Exactly. But how did it really go tonight?”

“Good. Jack and I are going to try to be friends again. He’s happy with Eric, and I can’t blame him. Eric sounds great. The whole Samwell Haus sounds great. Jack said I could probably meet them - on good terms - sometime after the season.” Kent sits down on his bed again. “Can I ask you something?”

“Okay,” Alexei says. He tugs off his sweatpants, and Kent swallows. It’s not like he hasn’t seen Alexei naked a thousand times. Hell, sometimes, Alexei walks out of the bathroom without a towel on. He has no shame or concern for walking around naked. But tonight, when Kent feels so full of hope, it hits him a bit harder in the gut.

Alexei stands in his tight, black briefs, and stares at Kent. “Yes, go.”

Kent nods. “Right. Um. Why are you friends with me?”

He doesn’t respond.

“I mean,” Kent continues. “I wasn’t exactly nice to you in the beginning. And I made a dirty play against Snowy, and you were…you never…you were so mad. But you didn’t tell me what changed?”

Alexei sits down beside Kent, as if being across from him on his own bed was just too far away. “I was. I dislike dirty players.”

“I know.”

“You needed a friend.” Alexei pats Kent’s thigh lightly. “I am good friend.”

Kent stares at Alexei, searching his face. How could he have missed what was right in front of him? All this time, Alexei saw him. Saw how lonely he is. Saw that he needed someone. So he became that someone. Kent smiles, but it falls quickly. What if Alexei realized that Kent is a big fraud of a person? That any glimmer of goodness he might see is tainted?

“You’re the best friend,” Kent whispers.

Alexei pats Kent’s thigh again. “Get sleep, friend.”

“Yes. Yeah. Okay. You…you too,” Kent stumbles. “Yeah.”

Alexei doesn’t say anything else; he climbs into his hotel bed, and rolls so his back is to Kent. After a moment, Kent throws on his pajama bottoms that Alicia Zimmermann had gotten him six years ago. They’re old and worn, but they remind Kent of a time when he as loved.

He glances at Alexei’s back before turning off the light between them. Maybe Jack’s right. He has feelings for his teammate. But Jack is wrong. He can never tell Alexei. Everything would change, and Kent can’t survive this without him.

__

* * *

 

 

“Play nice,” Jack announces. Kent stands in the front foyer, with his overnight bag over his shoulder, and his hockey bag at his side. He swallows, still anxious. Jack and Eric had invited him for the holidays at the Samwell Haus. Everyone had come back from their families, and were gearing up for New Years Eve.

He should’ve begged Alexei to come home from Russia earlier to join him for this. Kent doesn’t know why he thought he could do this alone.

“Whoa,” Shitty says, with his arm around Larrisa’s shoulders. Kent had spent a lot of time going over who-is-who with Alexei. “Jack, buddy, you do realize that that’s Parson behind you?”

“Shitty–”

“I’m kidding!” Shitty gives them a big grin. “C’mon and join us, loser. We’re in the middle of playing a very competitive and very loud game of Monopoly.”

“I–” Kent fails to continue, because he doesn’t exactly know how to respond to that. He glances at Jack, who nods his head for Kent to follow. He shuts the door, kicks off his shoes, and drops his bags. He’s carefully taking his jacket off as he follows Jack and Shitty into the kitchen.

“You owe us money!” either Ransom or Holster shouts. Kent has no idea which is which, because they’ve only ever been spoken about as a pair. The other Ransom/Holster claps his buddy on the shoulder and beams proudly, as if it’s a big deal that he demanded their money.

“Oi, we call Parson!” Larissa shouts, surprising him even more. She doesn’t look at him, but eyes her opponents carefully.

“No fair!” some redhead says, pouting. “We all know that he’s like super competitive.”

“Uh–”

“So,” Jack says, casually sitting down with the redhead. “Every so often, we split into teams and have a board game week. Monopoly is the first game of the week; usually the bad feelings are resolved by the end.”

“Alright,” Kent says, with a nod. Someone pushes a chair out for him, and he stakes a seat. He glances at Larissa and Shitty and asks, “Which properties are ours?”

Larissa gives him a bright smile. “Welcome to the winning team, Kent Parson.”

He settles in, and before the first hour passes, he’s on edge. They’re so close. They just need one more property and then they’ll have won. He wants to win so badly, because maybe if he does, then this visit won’t be so bad.

The entire game, Shitty is laid back and laughing at Larissa’s competitive streak. But the second Shitty makes a deal with Jack’s team, Kent realizes he’s just as into the game as the rest of them. Shitty holds his hand out for the money, and then he leans in to whisper something to Larissa. Whatever he says, her shoulders relax instantly.

Kent meets Jack’s eyes after Ransom (he thinks) picks up a card and accidentally flashes the card they need to win at him. He knows that there’s two ways this could go down. Jack’s team could win, or he could let the win go to Kent’s team. Jack tilts his head, slightly. So slightly that no one but Eric would notice. 

Jack and Eric share a look, and then Jack casually loses the game. He doesn’t pick up the first card on the pile, but instead picks one from underneath. They both know it’s the losing card.

Which means Kent’s team won. He gives Shitty, Larrisa, and some blonde kid a high-five and laughs. His eyes catch Eric’s, and for a moment, Kent hesitates in his celebrating. But then Eric nods, a smile slowly crossing his face, and Kent knows that this week will be a good one.

“You’re a sneaky bastard, aren’t you?” Larissa asks Kent.

“Hmm?”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice you silently asking Jack to let us win,” Larissa whispers.

“I don’t think Monopoly is that kind of game,” Kent answers, but his lips twitch.

“Thank you. Shitty’s had a rough week, so I appreciate the win,” Larissa tells him. Her hand is on his arm, and she reaches up to press a small kiss on his cheek. “I’m close with Alexei. You treat him well; I’ll treat you well.”

Kent smiles, a little confused, and mostly nervous. But then she’s rushing to celebrate their Monopoly win with Shitty.

“C’mon,” Eric says, suddenly at his side. “Let me show you where you’ll be sleeping for the week.”

“‘Ah, thanks.”

“Chowder’s gone for some family thing, so we’re putting you up in his room. Just…brace yourself, y’hear?”

Kent follows his ex-boyfriend’s current boyfriend down the hall and up the stairs. Eric is something else, that’s for sure. Kent’s not sure he’d be so cool with his S.O.’s ex spending a week with them.

“Hey, Eric? Thanks for…for having me.”

Eric beams. “No problem, Parson.”

There’s a pause. A heavy one.

“But if you hurt Jack in any way, I  _will_  make your darkest nightmares come true.”

Kent nods in understanding; his respect for Eric rises.

 

* * *

 

 

“Yo, dickbag!” Shitty’s voice comes from downstairs. Kent sticks his head out the bedroom door.

“Yeah?”

“Your boyfriend’s here! With presents!” Shitty calls up. “You should’ve told us you were expecting company.”

Most of the guys from the Samwell team had left this morning for a game, and the only people who hung around the Haus had been Kent, Shitty, and Larissa. He’d wanted to give them some space, so he’d told them he was going to read upstairs. And Kent would have  _definitely_  told them if he’d been expecting anyone.

He jogs down the stairs, confused and curious, only to stop shot on the third step from the bottom when he sees Alexei standing by the front door. Kent freezes, and Shitty gives him a wink before disappearing back into the living room. Kent can vaguely hear Shitty and Larissa whispering, but his eyes are locked on Alexei’s.

“Alyosha.”

Alexei’s eyes widen slightly. “You look up Russian nickname for me?”

“I–well you got so mad at me the time I called you Alex, and–” Kent shrugs. “What are you doing here, Alexei?”

“Holidays are for family,” Alexei answers.

“Right,” Kent says, attempting to swallow the lump that’s forming in his throat. “I thought you were going to be in Russia until the new year…”

Alexei shakes his head. He motions for Kent to come forward, and his body listens instinctively. Alexei puts his hands on Kent’s shoulders. “You are family also.”

Kent’s grin is unbreakable. He wraps his arms around Alexei and pulls him in for a hug. Without hesitation, he buries his face into Alexei’s neck and takes a deep breath. “Thanks for coming, man.”

“Hey, lovebirds! You guys gonna join us for some trashy TV?” Shitty yells, and then yelps a moment later. Kent would bet money that Larissa smacked him.

“Boyfriend? Lovebirds?” Alexei asks, tilting his head to study Kent for a moment.

“He’s just being a dick,” Kent responds, but he can’t help wondering if Alexei’s calmness about the words means anything.

They step into the living room, and Larissa gives them both a warm smile. “Come join us. Shitty will behave, I promise.”

“Only for you, m’lady,” Shitty murmurs. Larissa rolls her eyes, but waves for them to join.

Alexei makes himself comfortable on the chair by the couch, and Kent makes his way to the other side of the room. It’s only when he sees Alexei’s frown that he turns around and sits in front of Alexei’s chair.

“Better,” Alexei whispers before putting his hands on Kent’s shoulders. The gentle massage is enough to make Kent want to fall asleep.

 

* * *

 

 

“So,” Jack says, when he finds Kent alone in the kitchen making himself another drink. Kent glances at him for a moment before he continues to pour his Coke into his red solo cup. “The ball drops in three minutes. Tell me you’re going to kiss Tater, man.”

“He came here because we’re family.”

“Yes,” Jack says, nodding. “Because you’re both too dumb to see how in love with one another you are.”

“Jack…”

“Eric told me to stay out of it,” Jack admits, with a sheepish shrug. “But you were my family. You  _are_  my family. I just want to see you happy, Kent.”

“I know, man. I–” Kent freezes. “I’m still your family?”

“Always,” Jack murmurs. He rests his hand on Kent’s shoulder and squeezes gently. “We hit a rough patch, but we’re stronger for it, don’t you think?”

Kent smiles at him. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. Thank you for everything - for forgiving me, for giving me a millionth chance, for…for all this.”

“You owe me one.”

“Or a million,” Kent says, with a breathy laugh.

“You know how you could make it up to me?” Jack asks.

“By kissing Alexei at midnight?”

“Exactly.” Jack claps his back. “C’mon, dude. I just want to see you happy.”

“Happy like you are?”

“Yeah,” Jack says, grinning. Just then, Eric steps into the kitchen. Jack gives Kent a meaningful expression before turning and wrapping his arms around Eric’s waist. “A minute and a half, Kent.”

Eric beams up at Jack and brushes his fingers against Jack’s cheek. “I’m so proud to be your boyfriend, Jack Zimmerman. Spending your last minutes of this year trying to convince people to take a chance on love.”

“It worked out well for me,” Jack murmurs. As they kiss, Kent has to turn away. A moment later, they’ve moved to join everyone else in the living room.

He closes his eyes, taking a sip from his drink, and wonders what it’d be like to feel that kind love. He doesn’t really deserve that happiness though; he’s caused too much pain and hurt. Kent stills when he feels two hands touch his waist.

He turns, eyes wide, when he realizes it’s Alexei.

“Alyosha,” Kent whispers. A lump is forming in his throat. How he wishes he could lean into Alexei and let him know how much he cares; how grateful he is that he barged into Kent’s life; how sorry he is for being a complete fuck-up.

“Happy New Year, Kent Parson,” Alexei whispers.

“Happy New Year, Alexei Mashkov.”

_“Nineteen…eighteen…”_

“Kent, I am yours.”

_“Fifteen…fourteen…”_

“Alyosha, you deserve better.”

_“Twelve…eleven…”_

“I do not wait anymore,” Alexei murmurs. Then without any of the hesitation Kent feels, Alexei presses his lips to Kent’s. Kent takes a moment to kiss back, but when he does, he pushes Alexei against the counter. The taste of alcohol is dampened by the taste of Alexei’s peppermint hot chocolate. Alexei’s touch is far more gentle than Kent’s, so he slows down to match him.

“You’re my family, Alyosha.”

_“Five…four…”_

“I know,” Alexei whispers. He cups Kent’s face. “Ma told me to come be with the one I love.”

“I love you too,” Kent murmurs. He lifts his hand to touch Alexei’s, and they fall to their sides together.

They stare at each other, and Kent knows that they both understand one another. They don’t need to say anything else. They’re in this together. Kent rests his forehead against Alexei’s, and for the first time in years, feels the tension rush out of his body. Whatever happens now, Kent knows he can handle it because he’s not going to be alone anymore.

_“Two…one. Happy New Year!”_

It’s the perfect way to end the year, and start the next.

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted [here.](https://veronicabunch.tumblr.com/post/168826186537/image-facebook-chat-between-jack-kent-scroll)
> 
> image description:
> 
>  
> 
> _\-- Conversation started December 9th, 2013 --_
> 
>  
> 
> **Jack Zimmerman [12/09/13, 1:23am]:** you’ve got to stop this, kent. please.
> 
> **Kent Parson [12/09/13, 1:23am]:** If that’s what you want.
> 
> **Jack Zimmerman [12/09/13, 9:42am]:** it is.
> 
> **Kent Parson [12/09/13, 10:27am]:** Good luck with everything, Jack Zimmerman.
> 
> \-- _Conversation started July 17, 2017 --_
> 
> **Kent Parson [07/17/17, 2:03pm]:** Hi Jack, I know it’s been a while. I’ll be in the area the last weekend of August. If you’re around, I’d love to catch up and grab a coffee. Let me know. Thanks, K.
> 
> **Jack Zimmerman [07/25/17, 8:59pm]:** Do you really think that’s a good idea?
> 
> **Kent Parson [07/27/17, 7:03am]:** Honestly? I don’t know.
> 
> **Jack Zimmerman [08/13/17, 4:56pm]:** K. Coffee at Kat’s Beans on 4th St. and Wellington Avenue. 1 hour max. Wear something inconspicuous. That’s all I’m willing to do. Take it or leave it.
> 
> **Kent Parson [08/13/17, 5:13pm]:** I’ll take it. Meet at 2pm on the Saturday.


End file.
